Does your wife spend a lot of money when she goes shopping?
My hubs is always on my case about the $$ I spend. I try to tell him I'm shopping as cheap as I can, but he never believes me. I buy all the groceries/household supplies at Walmart. I buy second hand clothes for myself and the kids 95% of the time. I buy all of my clothes at Walmart-clearance rack 97% of the time. The things I've purchased to decorate the house were from clearance stores or 1/2 off at stores like Ross and TJ Max. I don't buy clothes for myself unless I absolutely have too. I don't go get my hair done, I don't get my nails done, I don't go to the tanning bed, I don't buy expensive makeup, I don't go to spas. I spend $30 on new tennis shoes and $20 on regular shoes in the last 2 years. I can't think of any other corners to cut. I try to tell him that my friends spend $100's on shopping trips to the mall, they have their credit cards maxed out, they have nice hair styles and pretty tans and pretty pedicures/manicures. Most of my friends spent $100s on the curtains and curtain rods in their homes while I bought on clearance for less then $25 a room.
It's like a catch 22 for him. He complains that I don't dress nice or do anything nice with my appearance, but then when he sees the bills he complains about how much we are spending. The last thing I bought for myself was a pair of tennis shoes.... my old ones were so old they literally had a hole in the side. The new shoes cost $30......
Yes, I'm a SAHM, but he provides very well for us. We have no debt(NONE) except our mortgage. We have 1 credit card that we pay off every month (we put everything on it b/c we get 4% back).
What am I doing wrong??????????????
Sethy, I followed you over here, don't you know. I'm your cyber stalker. I LOVE you. I wait in anticipation for you to log on and then I'm all over you like stink on crap!
Just kidding, it's getting so boring over there. Why don't you come back and stir up some more trouble! If you will just read through my posts over the last month, you will see I've been coming over here more and more! 
I will be today. I went yesterday and I forgot my ID & my CC at home plus I have $3,000 Gift Cards to spend.
Most of the time, I'm more frugal than dh. Shops vintage & get freebies from leftover estate sales, & loves flea markets! You'll never see dh wear used. I don't get my hair done, do them myself, and mine is healthiest & it feels like hair, and get lots of compliments. I am more like you.
You're not doing nothing wrong! He's from Mars, many of them are!
RAD things to do with my nails?
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March 7th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Why are all you newborn section folk coming over here today??
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March 7th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I will be today. I went yesterday and I forgot my ID & my CC at home plus I have $3,000 Gift Cards to spend.
Most of the time, I’m more frugal than dh. Shops vintage & get freebies from leftover estate sales, & loves flea markets! You’ll never see dh wear used. I don’t get my hair done, do them myself, and mine is healthiest & it feels like hair, and get lots of compliments. I am more like you.
You’re not doing nothing wrong! He’s from Mars, many of them are!
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Married the longest probably here.
March 7th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
That a deep breath, now do you feel better after your vent? You not doing anything wrong, (I swear your my wife using another account). Although she works also at a professional level and is required to dress the part, but she fights it tooth and nail. It is just tough times, and your husband feels those pressures and lashes out on you, which is not fair. Your a good wife and your doing what has to be done to assist your family, sorry that he does not see that. Good luck.
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March 7th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Listening, that is what is wrong with this situation.
As in your previous question, he doesnt listen, during $$ conversations you must… use his skill..
My hubby and I both work fulltime, He gives me a good portion of his check to pay the bills, and he will complain when I spend too much as well, I have taken on his skill of not listening, It is something we have to both use.
He uses it when I want to talk about my feelings and I use it when he wants to talk about money
You are being thrifty, what more can you do???
Come home with a white box that says "Mac and Cheese" see what he says then.
ETA – Seth – I am all over today.. Its one of those days. The NB & B is all a bunch of new early 20something moms that freak out if you say something not to their liking. You can not have any fun there anymore.
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March 7th, 2010 at 6:41 pm
You should actually spend a little money this month…then he’ll see how good he has it all the other months. And it sounds to me…if you can afford it at all…that you should spend $20 on a manicure every now and then…for yourself. Bet he spends a little on himself.
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March 7th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Seems like no matter what you do your hubby isn’t happy. Tell him if he doesn’t like your spending so much, that for the next month he is in charge. If he refuses, which he probably will, ask him what does he expect you to do and how to spend the money so he doesn’t think that too much is being spent. Show him all the bills and ask if any of the stuff you bought wasn’t necessary. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. Two pairs of shoes in two years? You’re amazing!
Maybe there is some other issue that he has personally but is afraid to talk about so he gets on your "spending" instead. If he wants you to look pretty, there are cheap ways to do it at home, no need to go to fancy salon. Ask one of your friends for a little help getting your hair, makeup and nails done. Maybe you can redo on of your old dresses into something new?
Whatever it is, you need to talk to your husband. From what you say you sound like a very considerate wife that’s trying her best.
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March 7th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
your not earning your own money, and if you were he wouldn’t say much, but you should be able to treat yourself to something nice because of the good job you do at home. My wife buys things all the time, i dont complain because i know that she is careful of not over doing it, and plus she deserves it. you should let your husband know how you feel. dont deprive yourself of things that make you happy just to make your husband happy. live a little.
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March 7th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
I don’t think there is anything else you can do no matter how little you spend he is going to complain. He must be unrealistic. I will tell you this my husband complained about what I spent shopping one time he said do what I had to to bring down the bill so I did I didn’t get his snacks lol. We he saw there was no cookies and asked why I said you told me to cut back, we have not had that discussion since.
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March 7th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
LOL that is totally the opposite for me, i do all that stuff and i am good i can cook everyday but 1 and spend $110 per week for 3 adult and 2 kids. Most of their clothes are presents from my grandparents. But my husband always wants to go out and eat, wants to by my son every big truck he sees, i am glad he gives me his check every weekend or we would be in a mess! I think you are doing great! I buy from Roses alot they are crazy cheap and good quality clothing. He is amazed when i say i have a big amount of cashed saved on weeks he only gets a few hours!
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☆♥Mami of Hayzea & Cruz♥☆
March 7th, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Well see I finagle it…..My husband comes with us shopping. So I use my manipulative powers to get him to buy us (and me, oh yea!) stuff. So he is the one doling out the money at the cash register. Then later, if he thinks we spend too much money, who does he have to blame? Himself!!! Hahahahaha!
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March 7th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
Your not doing anything wrong!!! He is like my husband who feels good by complaining all the time!!
Hubby likes to do all the shopping (groceries because he thinks I spend to much). And he is very good at it– uses coupons and saves a lot of money!! I don’t shop unless I really need it because I just don’t feel like listening to him complain. He has nothing to complain about either– nice house which he pays for every month, no debt, money in the bank and a wife who is conservative with money.
Tell you husband to do the shopping for a couple weeks and see what happens.. Good luck!!
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March 7th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
wow.. that is impressive. I thought that I did well with our finances but you just blew me away. I seriously commend you on your restraint and how good you are with his money. He does not even understand that most women out there cannot even come close to what you can do with money. That is amazing. I read your whole script and was just schocked. I am really good with our money. I didn’t think I could get any better until I read this. He sounds really cheap. I mean really cheap.
continue to tell him that women don’t normally go to the lenghts you do to save money and over spend.If he wasnt’ cheap, he would not react this way.. trust me. there is one thing to be frugal and then to be down right ridiculous.
He needs to get his head out his aS$. seriously.
he has it good in this department. I know people that have two incomes and won’t even shop at Walmart, won’t cut a coupon, only go the mall.. and tennis shoes were never under 80 bucks.
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good luck
March 7th, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Maybe you should start considering a part time job. Or put an ad on Craig’s List in the childcare section and offer to babysitt kids in your home for a very reasonable price. That way you can bring in some of your own money and do some things that you like with it. Or you could sit down with him, discuss all the money. What’s coming in, what’s going out, what needs to be set aside and see if you can squeeze an extra hundred bucks in there for the both of you. Use 1/2 of it or most of it to go out to dinner together and then the rest to get a hair cut or to get your nails done. Don’t neglect yourself or your marriage even when things are tight financially.
There are a lot of things you can do for yourself with little to no money to spend. Not so much clothing wise, but for you. You can deep condition your hair with egg, or give yourself a hot oil treatment. There’s a ton of facemasks you can make with stuff in your kitchen. Can you afford a yogurt and an avocado? He probably wouldn’t fuss about that. Brush your teeth with baking soda and they will be whiter, keep your nails and toenails painted. One Great thing you can do for free, workout! There’s tons of workout videos online. If you have the Netflix free downloads (you can sign up for 2 weeks free) there’s quite a few good ones on there. Hulu may have a few too. Take bubble baths, shave your legs twice a week, buy yourself a tanning lotion, Jergins natural glow is good. It’s $5 or less.
Don’t neglect yourself, the happier you are the happier your family is.
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When Mommy is happy, Everyone is happy.
March 7th, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Ha, you’re on a roll today.
Well, I don’t spend money on myself. My husband does mention that he would like me to dress better, but I cannot see spending money on myself when we have to buy liquor. My husband complains about my shoes, says they’re awful and need to be replaced at least every three years. But I can’t see paying $30 for a pair of shoes that are only going to last three years.
All of the above paragraph is true and not embellished for the point of entertainment. Seriously.
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March 7th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
he must be a stingy man.he should even thank God that he has a wife like u .who is not spending money on her own personal needs but on the need of the family .
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April 30th, 2010 at 8:43 am
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